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THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: DO TRY THIS AT HOME

3/11/2015

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​Thought experiments are the best kind of experiment. They take place in the mind where anything is possible. They involve no dangerously combustible chemicals, no finicky data-collection or the wearing of unflattering lab-coats. No animals are harmed in thought experiments – except perhaps in the case of Schrödinger's Cat - and then only very theoretically. 
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Even with human subjects informed consent is not mandatory. Thought experiments cost absolutely nothing to conduct and so the results are unlikely to be corrupted by pharmaceutical lobby groups or other questionable sources of funding. 

All that is required for a thought experiment is what - if you were telling a joke - would be the set-up, plus some imagination and wild surmising. The set-up can be very simple or mind-bendingly elaborate and aimed at illuminating the farthest shores of philosophical and  scientific thought. Apparently Galileo didn’t actually lob tennis balls and refrigerators off the leaning tower of Pisa in order to conclude that that objects fall at the same speed regardless of their weight. He saved himself all the hard yakker by coming to the same conclusion via a thought experiment.

And of course Herr Schrödinger, in his famous thought experiment, only had to lock an imaginary cat in a box with an imaginary Geiger counter, some completely non-existent hydrocyanic acid and a dab of fictitious radioactive material, in order to elucidate his argument about quantum mechanics. Whatever that was.


I’ve devised a few thought experiments of my own – necessarily constrained by the fact that this column is intended for a general readership. So please, come along with me to the Thought Lab and apply your imagination, intuition and reason to the following three thought experiments. The first couple of experiments are pretty straightforward. The last one though … well, let’s just say it allows plenty of room for thought. ... 


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CHANGING TIMES

10/3/2015

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A change to my contract with Fairfax means I can't post my Grey Urbanist columns online until three months after publication in the Nelson Mail. 

Some of my columns (although not all) turn up on the Nelson Mail website.  
And they will certainly appear here. Eventually.

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LIVING PRECARIOUSLY

12/1/2015

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Time to come out of the closet and admit to being a denizen of a shadowy netherworld society ... the precariat.
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Professor Guy Standing, an economist from the University of London, coined the term precariat to describe a rapidly expanding socio-economic class, which Standing argues has arisen as a consequence of globalisation and whose work lives are characterised by unpredictability and insecurity. 

Sitting happily atop Standing’s version of the socio-economic heap is the global elite, 
“a tiny minority of absurdly rich and high-earning people”. Squatting very unhappily at the bottom is an “army of unemployed” and “a detached group of socially ill misfits". 

Somewhere in between lie the “salariat”, who enjoy (for the moment at least) high-incomes and stable, full-time employment, and people like me - the “proficians”. who Standing describes as “self-selling entrepreneurs, living opportunistically on their wits and contacts”. 


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THE AFASHIONISTA APPROACH TO WINTER DRESSING

28/7/2014

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I'm wearing three non-matching merino jumpers and a pair of jeans tucked into woollen tramping socks and Ugg boots. Plus a capacious mohair, David Bain-inspired, opp-shop jumper . My ensemble is finished off with a belted blue XXXOS polar fleece dressing gown and accessorised with a simple rubber hot water bottle in a toning shade. I look awful but I am really, really cosy: I have achieved the very essence of the AFASHIONISTA look.  
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Whether you wear Glassons or Gucci, sweat-shop, opp-shop or Top Shop, your clothes say something about you even if you wish they’d keep quiet about it. Winter clothing is even more problematic if, like me, your thermophysiology tends to the cold-blooded. 

Keeping warm while simultaneously maintaining a toehold on the ladder of sartorial acceptability can be very taxing. Unless, that is, you embrace a whole new fashion paradigm and become an afashionista.

Being an afashionista involves inhabiting a self-invented sartorial Never Never Land where clothes are worn purely for comfort, warmth and practicality and not a single item of clothing has to be smart, sexy, cool, classy or on-trend. It’s the very opposite of haute couture: the land where the natives wear sensible shoes and relaxed-fit clothing with elasticised waistbands in easy-care fabrics. Within this gap in the fashion spectrum high-waisted, pleat-fronted, stone-washed jeans are perfectly acceptable. So are Crocs worn with rugby socks and baggy grey track pants. In the land of Warm’n’Comfy bulky is the new svelte, ugly is the new beautiful. 


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LEST WE FORGET - BUYING INTO ANZAC DAY

6/5/2014

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“The rank stench of those bodies haunts me still / And I remember things I'd best forget”  Siegfried Sassoon
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At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them ... with the assistance of “ANZAC-inspired”, Trellise Cooper-designed products emblazoned with poppies. 

You're sure to remember the wartime bravery and sacrifice of New Zealand servicemen and women if you’re lugging your groceries in a “Lest we forget” tote-bag ($15.00) while wearing an RSA  t-shirt ($39.95) and scarf ($49.95),  and texting on a mobile with an “iconic poppy” iPhone Cover ($25.00).      


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SAVING THE PLANET ONE OP-SHOP AT A TIME

19/11/2013

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The genius and alchemy of opp-shops: the places where the discarded is re-cycled, down-cycled, re-purposed and re-sold and turned into cash which, depending on the opp-shop, supports counselling services, social work, the care of the dying, even the prevention of cruelty to animals.
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Mrs Whistler hangs in unperturbed profile on the wall, looking down upon a scene of barely controlled chaos - a metres-high mountain of clothes spilling from bags and boxes and suitcases, stacks of candelabra, crockery, books, breadboards, lamps, baby-baths, saucepans, vases and vacuum cleaners. 
Mrs Whistler knows all about being discarded and cast-off. When her son James painted her portrait in 1871 he called it simply Arrangement in Grey and Black No.1, a nomenclature which so outraged the English art world that in order to support his family, James had to pawn the painting. Now of course, it is one of the most famous images in the world and is worth millions of dollars.
This is perhaps why Mrs Whistler seems so sanguine about her tarnished frame, the silverfish which are nibbling away at her, and her humble location on the wall of the sorting room of the Salvation Army opp-shop: she knows that given sufficient time and changes in taste, even the apparently worthless discard can garner value. 


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POPULAR MECHANIX 1936 - HANDY HINTS FOR 2013

23/10/2013

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In 1936 women are mostly employed applauding their men or demonstrating domestic bliss. “Oh Tom!” swoons one ecstatic wife “I’m so proud of you, you've gone ahead so fast in Radio!” Another kneels helpfully at her husband’s feet demonstrating the effectiveness of a purse-sized trouser press. 
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I arrive back from my search for Motel El Dorado to discover that the trellis in the back yard is now dangling by a thread. As my minimalist toolbox contains just a hammer and a bread knife, I seek a low tech solution to the trellis problem by unearthing the March 1936 issue of Popular Mechanix & Inventions magazine bought at a long ago garage sale.  

Sixty-seven years after publication it seems both dated and strangely current: the world is struggling to recover from a world-wide depression; U.S. unemployment hovers at 20%; the President (Roosevelt) is about to announce a $5 billion rescue package; nasty dictators (Hitler and Mussolini) are on the rise; new technologies are threatening old industries while giving birth to new. In spite of it all, this issue of Popular Mechanix is ablaze with optimism: “the future is the brightest that ever beckoned a man!” 


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    THE GREY URBANIST
    Ro Cambridge, is a freelance writer, 
    arts worker & columnist Here she reports on the oddities & serendipities of  urban life.  She roams Nelson city , NZ 
    with a tan & white Jack Russell. (Her original canine side-kick, Pete, who features in many of these posts died in 2015.

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