All creative people are delighted and thrilled if their work moves, excites or inspires, but would be even more thrilled if they also got a bit of hard cash in exchange for all the imagining, practicing, experimenting, physical labour and materials that go into their art. SLIDESHOW NELSON STREET ART
I became an unperson this week. It wasn't quite, in Orwell’s memorable phrase, “a boot stamping on a human face” and the condition was only temporary, but it was unsettling in a 1984-ish kind of way. One moment I was unthinkingly enjoying the subversive charms of having what in Newspeak is called an ownlife. The next I was a nobody, powerless and without identity. And all because I went to town and forgot to take my wallet with me.
My do-it-yourself detox system is scientific, easy, cheap and you can do it at home. In fact once the detox is underway you must stay at home: it is essential that you have unimpeded access to a toilet.
I’m feeling absolutely fabulous today after completing a rigorous detoxification programme. The results of a thorough detox are wonderful although the process is not for the faint-hearted. In my case it involved a darkened room and a taxing regimen of purging, fasting and yoga. The purging happened without any conscious effort from me and nausea made the fasting really easy.
The yoga was a little more challenging. I found the Dying Duck in a Thunder Storm pose impossible: gazing into the watery depths of the toilet bowl while embracing its icy porcelain was more than my overwrought psychomotor system could handle. However I found the Cadaver Pose simplicity itself. It involves lying on your back absolutely still, with your eyes closed and wishing you were dead.
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