Donald Trump’s inauguration as King of the United States and Dear Leader of the Free World is planned to coincide with his 70th birthday on the 14th of June next year. The White House, which has been renamed The Trump White House Tower and undergone extensive renovations, will reopen on the same day.
Ever since the wall went up Washington has been plagued by the din and dust of 24-hour demolition and construction on the 7.3-hectare White House site and the roads have been clogged with cavalcades of Trump trucks and delivery vans. The exact nature of the work going on behind the wall has been shrouded in secrecy. Consequently, the site is under siege by hordes of reporters, supporters, protesters and tourists. Outbreaks of anti—Democrat violence in the area have been blamed on the NRA Hospitality Tent which has been supplying free Trump Vodka to pro-Trump gun lobbyists in the crowd. However, Trump’s Militia, distinguished by their unusual comb-over hair style and gold-braided uniforms claim that all shootings have been “justified” and that the victims were “asking for it”.