An urban N.Z. baby-boomer and a Jack Russell terrier
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ZEN AND THE ART OF CARAVAN MAINTENANCE

18/6/2023

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Who would have guessed that two days in a Golden Bay camping ground would yield such extraordinary insights into the nature of life and the universe? I'm already at work on a book based on my 48-hour caravan holiday called “Zen and the Art of Caravan Maintenance”. Those of you who have not yet embarked on your holidays might find the following excerpts from the book helpful.
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1. There’s no such thing as getting away from it all. 
”All” is what makes life easy and keeps you warm, dry and well-nourished. “All” is what makes a decent cup of coffee, retards the decay of foodstuffs and keeps your belongings stored in some kind of order. “All” is also what keeps you fresh-smelling, entertained and in communication with the folks back home. It’s not until you begin packing that you realise how much “all” there is to get away from, and how much “all” you must take with you to ensure your comfort in every eventuality: flood, drought, heat wave or cold snap.


2. Do Not Adjust Your Set
You should expect the disruption or suspension of all normal laws of physics on the day of your departure. Time stands still and the force of gravity increases. These changes are so powerful that you despair of ever achieving escape velocity. Objective indicators of an altered time/space continuum include endless rewriting of packing lists and five trips to the supermarket for last-minute essentials. 


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WET WEATHER BLUES

11/6/2023

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I'm in the kind of low mood which makes reckless displacement activity seem perfectly reasonable -  getting a drastic new hairdo, running off with an unsuitable man or boarding a plane to Somewhere Else. In the far distant past I once managed all three at once.
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This morning the back yard is moody and sullen and so am I. 

A dense grey mist presses itself against the windows, attempting to insinuate itself into my little flat. The washing I hung out days ago is still on the line drooping and disconsolate. What passes for a lawn is almost as high as an elephant’s eye. It’s certainly higher than a Fox Terrier’s eye. 

The dog, who hates wet weather as much as I do, has made just one expedition outside, driven by an irresistibly full bladder. The long grass closed over his head immediately and the only evidence of his passage across the yard was the twitching of green stems in his wake. 


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SHARING A VERY SMALL KENNEL

13/8/2013

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I have spent the last fortnight or so, trying to cram The Dog and my life into my newly-purchased 42 sq metre flat. I'm not sure if The Dog thinks he’s living in my kennel or I’m living in his. All I know for sure is that we are sharing a very very small flat. Forget all that stuff I said a few postings ago about how Small is the next Big Thing. Theory is one thing and practice is another. Talk, as they say, is cheap. 
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Now that I have a new home, my Fox Terrier Pete is living with me again and I’ve been relearning what it is to share your life with a dog. I’m being reminded that dogs are sentient beings with dreams and longings, needs and instincts who lack the opposable thumbs or the EFTPOS card which would allow them an independent life. You are therefore their gaoler, dietitian, personal trainer and significant other and it’s a lot of responsibility to shoulder. 
It requires compassion but nerves of steel withstand the mutely eloquent pleas for a snack from the dinner table, the ears which prick hopefully at the jangle of car keys, and the howls of disappointment and the Prisoner of Zenda looks if you leave home without them. It takes a hard heart to ignore the bedtime pleading to be allowed up onto the bed even when a perfectly comfortable basket and 100% wool blanket has been provided. 


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    THE GREY URBANIST
    Ro Cambridge, is a freelance writer, 
    arts worker & columnist Here she reports on the oddities & serendipities of  urban life.  She roams Nelson city , NZ 
    with a tan & white Jack Russell. (Her original canine side-kick, Pete, who features in many of these posts died in 2015.

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